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The Internet Ruined Everything

from The Internet Ruined Everything by Whitney Lockert

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lyrics

Used to have a pretty good attention span,
When I got bored I went out and ran
The Internet ruined everything.

Used to be able to concentrate,
Used my imagination to...
The Internet ruined everything.

Used to know how to get from A to B,
Now I need Google Maps to tell me.

Used to go out and have a lot of fun,
Now I come home, plug in and I’m done.

Used to have a girl sometime somewhere,
Used to talk to ladies, I used to care
(refrain) The Internet ruined everything.

Seen a million pairs of boobies now
And yours just don’t do it for me somehow.
(refrain)

Damn you, Al Gore,
What’d you have to invent it for?

Used to read books and be real smart
Now you’ve got Wiki, so why even start?

Used to be able to procrastinate,
Now we’re always in touch and it just can’t wait.

Used to think I’d get a record deal,
Now people don't buy music, they just steal.

Used to have friends over to sit and chat,
Now I’m stuck with dicks on chat roulette.

On my birthday I used to get phone calls
Now people just write on my facebook wall.

Damn you Youtube,
Turning me into a boob.

Used to think everything would be ok,
Now I’ve got streaming news all day.

Used to be able to move on with my life,
Now I know which ex-girlfriends are somebody’s wife.

credits

from The Internet Ruined Everything, released September 15, 2017

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Whitney Lockert Los Angeles, California

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